By Cathy Chapaty
I’ve made a plethora of mistakes in my martial arts teaching
career that horrify me today. Years ago, I:
· Took a 15-year-old student out to dinner at the
behest of his parents. The student was struggling emotionally, and his mom
thought he’d talk to me about what was bothering him. It didn’t occur to me
that this might be wrong.
· Let a 14-year-old student spend the night at my
house. All week, we’d volunteered at the Taekwondo National Championships in
Austin, Texas—early mornings and late nights. The student’s parents asked me if
he could sleep at my house and I give him a ride to the tournament Saturday
morning so that they could sleep in. I agreed. Back then, I didn’t know any
better.
· Held overnight lock-ins at my school. In fact,
the setting for my book, No Pouting in
the Dojo: Life Lessons through Martial Arts, is a lock-in. Today I wouldn’t
host such an event. Now I know better.
Each of the above examples either represents a teacher-student
boundary violation or presents the opportunity for abuse. Given the recent
sexual abuse claims by athletes in organized sports, it’s clear that good
intentions are no longer good enough to keep athletes safe.
1 in 10
In a 2004 nationwide survey of
students in grades 8-11, Dr. Charol Shakeshaft, a professor of educational
leadership at Virginia Commonwealth University, in Richmond, Va., found that
nearly 7 percent—about 3.5 million students—reported having physical sexual
contact from an adult in their school, primarily a teacher or coach.
Those numbers rise to about 10
percent, or nearly 4.5 million students, when eliminating misconduct that
doesn’t include touching (sharing pornography, sexual talk, or sexual
exhibitionism), Shakeshift said in a 2013 Phi
Delta Kappan article.
According to the U.S. Center for SafeSport, a nonprofit
organization tasked with combatting bullying, hazing, harassment, and sexual abuse
in organized sports, 1 in 10 children will be sexually abused before turning
18.
How does abuse occur—and recur?
A 2004 U.S. Department of
Education study reported that perpetrators often “target vulnerable or marginal
students who are grateful for the attention.” The study also found that complaints
from marginal students against popular teachers are less likely be accepted as
credible.
According to SafeSport’s Sexual Misconduct Awareness and
Education training module, “Trust and power are inherent to the coach-athlete
relationship: The coach is in a position of authority, instructing the athlete.
The athlete trusts that their coach has their best interests at heart. When a
coach misuses trust and power, athletes are more vulnerable to abuse and
misconduct.”
To combat abuse in Olympic sports, the U.S. Olympic
Committee (USOC) and all national sports organizations require coaches, staff,
and volunteers to earn education credits through three SafeSport training
modules that cover emotional and physical misconduct, mandatory reporting, and sexual
misconduct awareness education. This training will soon available be available
to the public.
Background checks are also a standard practice.
What else can athletes, parents, coaches, staff, and
volunteers do to ensure all athletes train in a safe space? Here are seven tips
to combat sexual abuse and misconduct.
Tip 1: Maintain professional teacher-student boundaries
It’s normal for a young student who admires her coach to
invite him to birthday and pool parties and other social events. Some
instructors have a “no social interaction” policy. Others attend students’
events without hesitation. But it’s important to remember that coaches should
avoid accepting social invitations that involve the student and coach being
alone.
Also, when traveling, have a safe-travel plan:
· If minors travel to competitions without parents,
insist on a chaperone.
· Avoid one-on-one trips between an instructor and
student.
· Ensure the understanding that coaches should never
share rooms with students, regardless of age.
To save money on overnight competition trips, coaches and
students sometimes pile everyone in the same room. John Graden, executive director
of the Martial Arts Teachers’ Association (MATA), said this sets a dangerous
boundary-crossing precedent.
“Some schools take students to tournaments,” he said.
“Everyone sleeps in one hotel room with sleeping bags on the floor. This is a
really bad idea in today’s environment.”
Tip 2: Keep all social media contact professional
In today’s fast-paced, social media-driven society, it’s
common for instructors to text their students about schedule changes due to
inclement weather, tournament arrival times, and other reminders. However,
SafeSports warns:
· An instructor shouldn’t text or e-mail a
14-year-old, for example, without also copying the parents;
· Parents should be wary if they discover their
child texting an instructor late at night—especially if the conversation
doesn’t involve school matters; and
· Athletes shouldn’t join or “like” a coach or
volunteer’s personal social media page, and vice versa.
Tip 3: Enforce a zero-tolerance dating policy
SafeSport warns that a coach in an intimate or sexual
relationship with an athlete he or she instructs “is considered a serious
breach of the SafeSport Code.” It also warns:
· “Any non-consensual sexual conduct is sexual
misconduct and is a violation of the SafeSport Code and may also violate
criminal law,” and
· “Where there is a power imbalance, SafeSport
prohibits sexual relationships between coaches and athletes, regardless of the
ages of the athlete and coach involved.”
Tip 4: Insist on full disclosure
SafeSport recommends that meetings between athletes and
coaches:
· Never be one-on-one, and
· Be held where others are present and where
interactions can be easily observed or interrupted.
The organization advises that coaches keep the office door
unlocked and open if an individual meeting needs to take place.
Tip 5: Prohibit inappropriate touching
No one should touch athletes—not even a coach—in a manner
that makes the athletes feel uncomfortable. SafeSport advises coaches, parents,
and athletes to keep the following in mind:
· A minor cannot legally give consent.
· Students love their coach for bringing out the
best in them, but coach-student relationships should always be professional.
·
If the athlete feels like the coach is becoming
too friendly, it’s perfectly acceptable to set a boundary.
· Massages should only be performed by a licensed
massage therapist or other certified professional.
· Even if a coach is a certified massage
professional, SafeSport warns against allowing the coach to massage an athlete.
· Athletes should never feel coerced to do
something they don’t want to do. If the coach is persistent, no matter how good
that coach is and how much the student may like him or her, leave.
Tip 6: Tell someone about it
There’s a reason for the saying, “Our secrets keep us sick.”
SafeSport and safety industry experts recommend:
· If you see something, say something—no matter
the time, place, or circumstance, and regardless of the high profile of the
person suspected of abuse.
· Trust your gut.
· Question anything that doesn’t seem right. A
good coach won’t mind answering questions and clarifying misunderstandings; and
·
If the coach balks, walk. Immediately report the
incident to local law enforcement authorities and SafeSport.
· And finally…
Tip 7: Educate yourself
Athletes and parents don’t have to figure this out alone. Learn
the signs of bullying, harassment, and sexual abuse and misconduct by:
· Visiting SafeSport
for training on sexual abuse and misconduct awareness and prevention, emotional
and physical misconduct, and mandatory reporting; and
· Checking out Darkness
to Light (D2L), a nonprofit committed to empowering adults to prevent child
sexual abuse. D2L offers a variety of training options, including Stewards of Children certification.
Courses are available to the public, and some cost as little as $5.
Reporting is now mandatory
For years in many states, teachers have been considered
mandated reporters, and there have been legal penalties for not reporting
suspicions of abuse. (To find out the reporting statutes in your state, visit
the Child
Welfare Information Gateway website.)
But in mid-February, President Donald Trump signed a bill to
strengthen mandatory reporting laws for amateur athletic organizations; these
organizations now must report any allegations of sexual assault immediately to
law enforcement.
SafeSport recommends that when in doubt, call 911 to report sexual
misconduct or abuse to local law enforcement. If the abused is an athlete in an
Olympic sport, SafeSport has an online Sexual
Misconduct Incident Reporting Form, or athletes can call (720) 531-0340.
SafeSport accepts anonymous reports.
When we know better…
“When we know better, we do better,” George Schorn, board
chair of the National Women’s Martial Arts Federation, told me recently.
Indeed.
The above tips are by no means comprehensive. There’s still
more to learn, and to combat this problem, we all must look for ways to hold
clear conversations with one another and to establish and maintain professional
boundaries.
When I began teaching, I made a lot of innocent mistakes
because I didn’t know any better. Today, though, the stakes are too high and
the resources too plentiful to be ignorant about the dangers of sexual abuse
and misconduct. It will take all of us to keep our athletes safe.
As for me, no one will be staying at my house again.
Now I know better.
-----
ATHLETES AT RISK SERIES
This five-part series explores sexual
abuse and misconduct in Olympic Taekwondo. Due to the sensitivity of the
subject matter, some sources have asked to remain anonymous.
Part 1: Convincing
Athletes to Report Sexual Abuse, Misconduct a Hard Art
Part
2: The Evolution of Abuse of Power
Part
3: Martial Arts Leaders: Education Key to Ending Sexual Abuse
Part 4: 7 Tips to Prevent Sexual Abuse,
Misconduct
Part 5: COMMENTARY:
Congress Must Intervene to Ensure Athletes’ Safety
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